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Review: Lush's Luxury Lush Pud Bath Bomb (Christmas Special)
Tuesday, 31 October 2017 at 00:00 | 0 Comments
For the past month, I have been getting constant tension headaches due to the lack of sleep, stress, bad body posture, anxiety... You name it. Which is why I have been taking more baths than usual to calm my nerves and muscles. Due to the increase in baths taken over the past month, I had to pop into a Lush store to stock up on my bath bombs.

During my most recent trip to Lush, I was also planning to get the Sleepy Lotion to help with my sleep. Unfortunately, it was sold out in the whole of Singapore! :'( Their staff kindly recommended me to try out Lush's Luxury Lush Pud Bath Bomb instead as it has a similar scent. If you are a frequent reader of my blog, you might know that my favourite scent when it comes to relaxing is Lavender, and since Lavender is one of the main scent in the Luxury Lush Pud Bath Bomb, I immediately picked one up to try. The Luxury Lush Pud Bath Bomb is also a Christmas edition, so make sure you get it before it runs out!

The design of this bath bomb looks super cute as it has a white base with multi-coloured polka dots. Since it's a Christmas special, it also has a holly design on the top (mine's broken though) of the bath bomb to mimic the garnish of a Christmas pud. Cute detail!


Overall, I absolutely LOVE the scent and colour of this bath. I love how all the colours of the polka dots start to melt into the water initially, but the end result is a pretty pinky orangey, sort of like a grapefruit coloured bath. This is also probably the first bath bomb I used that doesn't contains glitter.

Unfortunately, my bath bomb did not fizz as well as it should, and that occured quite frequently with my bath bombs for some reason, probably due to storage or the weather, or just... I don't know, chemical stuff. Nevertheless, it still does its job in helping me to relax, as well as softening the water.

The scent is quite light and sweet but I love that it's not too overpowering and too sweet which is great for a relaxing night in. In short, if you're a lover of relaxing scents, this bath bomb is for you. I feel like this might be the longest bath I took because it was just so relaxing I nearly fell asleep in my bath. I will definitely be heading back in stores to pick at least 2 more of these before it goes out of stock!

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My 25th Birthday (and Christmas 2017) Wishlist!
Thursday, 26 October 2017 at 09:57 | 0 Comments
One thing that stresses me lots is getting gifts for my loved ones. I hate disappointing people as much as I hate wasting my money. So whenever I buy gifts, I always hope to get them something that they'll actually use. Another thing that stresses me out is not liking gifts that are given to me because it makes me feel ungrateful and I'll feel bad for wasting their money and time. So this year, I decided to come up with a wish list and hopefully it'll help you out and make your life a little easier. ;);)

1. Cameras, cameras, cameras

Aha, I know this is ridiculously priced for a birthday gift but hey, it's a wishlist and you should never be shy when it comes to making wishes. Being an active Youtuber, I can never ever get enough of cameras. There are actually 2 cameras I'm eyeing on at the moment and no, I will not want both of them, but either one will make me a very happy vlogger.

The first one is the Canon Legria Mini X, also known as the Canon Vixia Mini X. Recently, I've been very into vlogging little snippets of my life, and although I have the Canon G7X Mark II, I love and prefer the footage from my Canon T6i with my wide angle lens (this is also the setup I used for my Korea vlogs!). Therefore, I have been carrying my dslr around whenever I'm out and it honestly stresses me out a little as I'm so afraid of dropping it or bumping it into things and spoiling the huge lens. Not to mention, the weight of my dslr with the lens is probably almost 3x heavier than a regular compact camera. My favourite thing about the Canon Legria Mini X is definitely the ultra wide angle lens, and the fact that it's so small and easy to carry around. I think it originally costs around S$800~ but since this camera has been discontinued by Canon in Singapore (why oh why), the price has now gone up like crazy. :(

The second camera is a GoPro, and I'm not that familiar with the different models of GoPro, but one with a screen at the front is preferred. The same reason, I'd want one because it's so light and small which makes it super convenient to carry around. I also love that you can get a case for it and bring it underwater! I am someone who loves beach holidays and filming my holidays. Whenever I'm on a beach holiday, I spend a lot of time in pools and occasionally, if I'm feeling adventurous, I'd do some water sports. It'd be great if I can actually film the fun I'm having in pools instead of struggling with my Canon G7X Mark II and holding it so high up so as not to wet it. The GoPro is a lot more pricey, so I guess I'll still prefer the Canon Legria Mini X as I think I will use it a lot more.

2. Help me Relax..... Zzzzzzzz

a. Baths
God knows how many baths I've taken this year... I guess it's safe to say that I am officially obsessed with taking baths, and making my very own bath cocktail. So far, I've been enjoying bath bombs, bubble bars, and bath salts (omg, I can't live without bath salts at the moment), but I've been meaning to try out bath oils too. I found a few bath oils on Sephora that I really want to try (click here, here, and here), but if you can't find them in stores, I wouldn't mind receiving more bath salts or bath bombs from Bath & Body Works and Lush! I only take baths whenever I'm feeling super stressed out or when my muscles are aching like crazy (ie. after a good workout), so I love scents that can help me relax and calm my nerves and muscles. Relaxing fragrance such as Lavender, Ylang Ylang, Eucalyptus, as well as earthy fragrances are my favourite. In general, don't like citrus and sweet scents when it comes to taking baths.

Side note: After my bath, I love to apply a similar scented lotion to keep the scent with me when I go to bed. I am dying to try out Sleepy from Lush, but it's currently out of stock in the whole of Singapore... :(

b. Candles
Candles are similar to baths for me, I use them mainly to help myself relax. The only differences is that it's much easier, and I don't waste a ton of water. Similar to my baths, I love scents that are more relaxing and earthy, as compared to sweet and citrus. Currently, I am using the ones from Bath and Body Works' Stress Relief collection. So if I can pick a new candle, I'll definitely choose the Lemon Lavender one from Yankee Candle which was the very first candle I love. There was one occasion where I accidentally fell asleep with my candle burning (yikes), so if you'd like to gift me a candle warmer... You're more than welcome to do so.

3. An everyday Bag

I mean. I have a lot of crossbody bags, but I just can't get enough of them! I received 2 crossbody bags on my birthdays on 2 different years and they are hands down the presents I use the most. I use them at work, during the weekends, and basically, everywhere I go. The only time you'll not see me with a crossbody bag is when I have to bring my camera and macbook out, or when I'm just heading down to grab lunch.

I found two pieces that suits my taste on Charles & Keith (here and here) *hint: I prefer the first one! They're both black because they're the safest option. My colleague once bought me a hot pink Guess crossbody bag and oh my God, I love it. For me, it's either a hit or miss when it comes to a non-black bag... All I can say is, when it comes to a crossbody bag, it's either black, or a pop of colour like hot pink, royal blue, yellow, orange, red... Please don't get me dull colours like navy blue, army green,... or white (it gets dirty so easily!). Just no.

4. A Backpack

Another bag! Haha, like I said, I'll always be carrying a crossbody bag, unless I'm bringing my macbook and camera out. Oh, and when I travel. I have a good amount of backpacks, but the problem is, they're all too small! I also sleepover at my boyfriend's place very often, and so none of my backpacks can actually fit all my extra clothes and makeup... I've been eyeing on the Fjallraven Kanken Bag for about a year now. I really love the boxy, casual look of it as well as how it is so spacious. For backpacks, a safe colour option is all black. Always. Hehe.

5. I know, I need to upgrade my Condenser Microphone

I've been making covers on Youtube ever since I was 16 years old. Can you believe that? My first few covers was recorded on my phone (it was Wonder Girl's Nobody, few days after my last O levels paper), then I "upgraded" to a lousy computer microphone, then about 1-2 years later, my Sis bought me my first condenser microphone (technically I was supposed to return her the money......)! I've been using it ever since then and it's still working, but I guess it is getting old because the quality isn't as great as before. I've been wanting to upgrade my microphone because so many people have been commenting on my covers asking me to do an upgrade... But I guess I'm just too lazy to do my research and actually heading out to buy it. A decent condenser microphone costs about $80 - $120+ so I guess it's not that bad.

If you're considering, make sure to get one that comes with a USB cable! ;)

6. Beauty products

Being a beauty Youtuber and Blogger, I feel like many people will assume that I'd love to receive beauty products. Which is somewhat true, if you actually get what I'm eyeing on. *giggles* I'm very particular when it comes to beauty products. During the past few years, I've been receiving loads of different beauty products on my birthday, and I noticed that I hardly use any due to the wrong choice of shade, or wrong type of product in general, which is such a pity! So here's my sub-wishlist of beauty products I'm dying to try out! ;)

a. Colourpop Low Key Palette (order early because it takes forever to arrive in Singapore!)
b. Pixi's Skintreat Duo Glow Tonic and Peel and Polish Set 
c. Hourglass Ambient Lighting Palette 
d. Tarte Double Ended Foundation Brush 
e. Urban Decay Naked Heat Palette

And that's it! I'm sure I've given you more than enough gifts to consider. To be honest, it does feel a little shameless to type an entire post about what I want, but you'll never get what you want if you don't speak up!

Tuesday, 24 October 2017 at 08:48 | 0 Comments
Exfoliating is one of my must-do steps in my skincare routine. I sometimes exfoliate my face up to 3 times a week because I genuinely hate the idea of having layers of dead skin cells on my skin surface as that just means that whatever skincare product I use will not work effectively because they will only sit on top of the dead skin cells. Dead skin cells also contributes of dull-looking skin which is not a look I fancy.

When I think about exfoliating, I think about scrubs, peel off masks, exfoliating facial brushes... But never an Exfoliating Water. If you've never heard about an "Exfoliating Water", well, me neither. Which is why I was so fascinated when I was introduced to the By Wishtrend Mandelic Acid 5% Skin Prep Water by My Beauty Moments.

My Beauty Moments is an online website based in Singapore, and they offer popular Korean skincare and makeup products that are almost impossible to find in Singapore, example Klairs, Cosrx, Bbia, Eglips and more. They are the authorised distributor for these Korean brands in Singapore, so you can trust that all their products are 100% authentic! I find their prices to be very competitive and similar to the prices in Korea which is awesome because you don't have to pay an additional air ticket to get your hands on these Korean beauty products!

Coming back to the By Wishtrend Mandelic Acid 5% Skin Prep Water, this is essentially an Exfoliating Water as I have mentioned. This non-irritant and hydrating product is a mild exfoliant that can be used daily. Since it helps exfoliate your skin on a daily basis, dead skin cells can barely get a chance to idle on your skins' surface, therefore improving the appearance and texture of your skin. One of its key ingredients is Mandelic Acid, which is an alpha hydroxy acid obtained from almonds.

Here are some of the many benefits our skin can get from Mandelic Acid:

1. It helps to deeply cleanse our skin, removing stubborn oils and dirt.
2. It reduces the appearance of enlarged pores.
3. It effectively helps to exfoliate away dead skin cells, leading to smoother, healthier looking skin.
4. It also reduces fine lines and wrinkles.
5. Lastly, it helps in tackling skin discolouration and hyper-pigmentation such as brown spots, freckles and other sun-related sun problems.

You may or may not have noticed that this product is also called a 'Skin Prep Water'. This is because it also helps to boost the effectiveness of other skincare products that you apply on, just like a toner.

As for me, I use this product as a substitute for my everyday toner, 3 to 4 times a week. On days when I have used a scrub, I tend to go for a non-irritant, natural toner instead, such as LUSH's Eau Roma Water, since I don't need further exfoliation, and I feel that a natural toner will help calm my skin better. I don't think this product has any fragrance added as it has a very mild non-artificial scent.

I'm not sure if you can tell from the images, but I've already used up about 1/4 of the bottle. I do like using this product because there are weeks where I'll be too lazy to use a scrub to properly exfoliate my skin, and so this is just a quick and easy way to prevent excessive dead skin built up. During my first few uses, this product actually stings my face in certain areas and it was really unpleasant. But since I had to review it, I continued using it and found that the stinging has now completely stopped.

Overall, I am still using this product as it doesn't break out my skin, and I do notice that my skin feels smoother and softer after using it. I do recommend this product for those who has sensitive skin, but still wants to exfoliate their skin without using a coarse scrub once a week!

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Review: ALIVE LAB Cotton Candy Ball, Cantella Dressing Powder, Reduce Sebum Powder
Tuesday, 10 October 2017 at 21:30 | 0 Comments
About 3 weeks ago, Alive Lab from Korea contacted me and asked if I would like to try out some of their products. If you are new to this blog, you may or may not know that I am a huge K-beauty junkie. So when I received the offer, I couldn't turn them down because who doesn't want free K-beauty products because their products looks so adorably packaged and interesting! Since I wasn't familiar with their brand, I told them to send me some products that would benefit my oily, acne-prone skin. Fast-forward to a week later, a lovely package was sent to me containing 3 products from Alive Lab.

The first product is called the Cotton Candy Ball. I know, like what??? When they told me that they will be sending me their Cotton Candy Ball, I was just as confused. Turns out, it's an exfoliating product that promises to eliminate blackheads! It comes in a bright and fun orange packaging which almost reminds me of candy. Opening up the sealed tub, I found a pair of tweezers attached at the top of the cap. This is for you to pick up the pre-soaked cotton balls to minimize contamination. Honestly, I just use my hands to pick them up to save time, but it's a cute addition for those who are all about the process.

I love the concept of pre-soaked cotton pads, like the Bio-Peel from Neogen and Cosrx One Step Pads. Alive Lab's Cotton Candy Ball is pretty much the same thing, but instead of cotton pads, they used cotton balls for a cuter alternative. Looking at reviews online, the Cotton Candy Ball is supposed to turn grey after you have swept it all across your face as it would have picked up any dead skin cells, blackheads, and dirt. I was super excited to see the transformation of the balls, and so I've tried it on both my face, and my boyfriend's face, obviously with two different cotton balls. Well, my boyfriend doesn't exfoliate unless I does it for him, so I figured out that his face would have more accumulated blackheads and dead skin hehe.

Sadly, the pale orange cotton balls did not turn grey like the reviews said it would. But, it did turn into a really dull and dirty looking orange which, to be honest, looks really gross which is why I refuse to take a picture of it. Even though it looks gross, it's a great sign that it is in fact working and is effectively picking up dead skin cells!

I did enjoy using the cotton balls because they are super convenient to use and each and every piece of cotton ball is very well and equally soaked in the formula. I also love how my skin feels noticeably softer after using this product. My boyfriend and I also love the light sweet scent of the cotton balls which does reminds us of cotton candy, and it just makes the process even more pleasant. Despite the cute appearance of the cotton balls, I would prefer it to be in cotton pads so it would cover more surface area, i.e., the cotton balls are actually quite small and might be difficult to maneuver if you have large hands. Since they are so small, it also takes a (much) longer time to go over your entire face than a cotton pad would.

One tub contains 30 cotton balls to be used either daily, or as and when needed on troubled spots and areas. It is retailing at 14,000won (~S$17) which is rather reasonable if you only use it either once a day, or a couple of times a week. If you use it everyday and night as a toner though, one tub will only be able to last you for 2 weeks which is the biggest downside of this product.

The next product is Alive Lab's Centella Dressing Powder. This is another one of Alive Lab's best selling products and it has surely garnered many positive reviews online! Once again, I was extremely excited to put this product to the test since many reviews claimed that it made their pimples disappear within a night. What kind of sorcery is that?!

This product comes in a very small bottle and the packaging just reminds me of olden days camera film. I find the price of 8,000won (~S$10) very reasonable and affordable even though it's so small, you really only need less than a pinch of product each time you use it (it you're using it as a spot treatment). Centella is a type of plant and it is a rather popular ingredient for treating pimples as it can be found in quite a number of pimple-treating or blemishes-treating products such as the Centella Blemish Cream from Cosrx.

The interesting thing about this product is that you can use it in 3 different ways. The first method is to apply it directly onto your skin. After applying all my skincare products, I apply a thin layer of this powder over any fresh pimples. The first thing I noticed is that since it's a white powder and it's not super fine or anything, it does show on my skin instead of blending out like a loose powder. Therefore, I highly recommend you to either put on a foundation to even out your skin tone, or use it only at night like I do. Unfortunately, it didn't magically eat up my pimple within a night, but after a couple of nights, I noticed that this product really helps to dry up the sebum. For smaller pimples, it did help to speed up the recovery process a little. Even though it dries up the sebum in the pimple, it didn't cause my skin to dry up and flake.

The second method is to mix it in with a skincare product which is how I usually use it. If you have pimples all over your skin, it is good to mix it together with your moisturizer, instead of patting it all over your face. If you're like me and you only breakout in certain areas and you'd prefer to use it as a spot treatment, mix it in together with your spot treatment product! I am currently loving the Oxy10 Benzoyl peroxide cream for treating my spots, and so I love to mix this in to quicken the healing process. Mixing it into a skincare product also helps it blend into your skin since I've mentioned that it does show up if you simply plop it onto your skin. The final method is to mix it in with a mask. I have yet to try this out yet as I mostly use sheet masks and clay masks.

Overall, it is very simple to use, and not to mention again, it is really reasonably priced.

The last product is Alive Lab's Refresh Sebum powder. On first glance, this powder reminds me greatly of the InnisFree No Sebum pact. Once again, Alive Lab slayed with its adorable packaging. It comes with a matte top lid and a flipping adorable powder puff with a bow on the top. Ugh, I just can't deal with the cuteness of this powder pact!

This is essentially a powder pact which you can choose to use all over your face, or just on areas where you tend to go shiny. It helps to reduce the amount of sebum production, absorb oils, and keeps your skin matte throughout the day. If you're super oily, feel free to carry this travel-friendly-sized powder in your handbag for touch ups.

I have oily skin and I tend to go shiny on my forehead if I'm not using a mattifying powder. With a light layer of this powder before I leave my house, I didn't find it necessary to touch up often while I'm out. Other than controlling sebum production, this product do not provide any extra coverage. Therefore, if you're the kind of person who uses a tinted loose powder, or a pressed powder to set your makeup, you can simply use this as a mattifying powder while you're out instead of using it to set your makeup.

Tip: Since it helps to absorb oil, you can also use it to blot out the oils in your hair!

Overall, what can I say, I do love a cheap product that works, and it does work in keeping my skin matte. The powder is super fine which sits well on top of my foundation without causing it to cake. I also love using it to set my under eye concealer as it doesn't make it crease.

All in all, I do recommend these products for those who have oily skin to try out. In terms of pricing, I'd say that their products are clearly on the affordable side and my top favourite is definitely the Refresh Sebum powder pact as I love how it keeps my skin matte, without caking up my face. If anything, the only con about the powder is that it doesn't come with a mirror. Next in place would definitely be the Cotton Candy Balls as it was a really fun product to use and I can definitely see an improvement in my skin after using this product. The only downside to the Cotton Candy Ball is how it only contains 30 balls per tub.

Once again, thank you Alive Lab for sending me these sweet and adorable products!

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An Open Letter to My Ex Friend
Tuesday, 3 October 2017 at 17:23 | 0 Comments
Where should I begin? It must be awkward for you to read this, considering that we haven't spoken in what feels like ages. Are you curious as to what I am about to say? Are you, nervous? Well, don't be.  I've got a feeling that this letter will take you awhile to finish, so grab a cuppa and get comfy, if that'll help ease your nerves a little.

Welcome to your tape my side of the story.

Nobody, including myself, knew what happened that caused your sudden eruption of hatred for me. You claimed it was due to a series of past events that accumulated your hate, or "dislike" as you might like to call it, since you don't wish to sound like the hateful person you are, for me. You blew it up early this year as if I've finally done something that you could no longer take, but as far as I'm concerned, I haven't spoken to you or even have a glance at your face since our trip to Malaysia in mid-December 2016. Unless I have the ability to upset you without even doing anything related to you, this simply means 2 things. One, whatever I did to piss you off happened before 2017, and two, you're a two-headed snake. Which, who am I kidding, is not surprising.

I believe that when a problem occurs in a relationship, it always take two hands to clap. Take a moment to digest this, because I know in your life, you're always the one who's "right", regardless. I'm not avoiding the fact that I may not be the best friend you can get, but neither am I shouldering all the blame. You probably didn't expect things to turn out this way, all you wanted was to make me as miserable as you are, and you were probably quite certain that I would have kept my mouth shut about our friendship because of all people, you'd know that I dislike confrontations and dramas. But I didn't, which was why you clearly panicked when I questioned. Unlike you, I'm not throwing myself a pity party today. I just figured out that it's time for me to stand up for myself. I'm not the kind of person who likes to rake up unhappy events from the past and dwell over it, but you seem to love it as a side dish to compliment your main victim-playing role. So I'm giving you a treat today by serving up the events here for you, just as how you'd like them, juicy.

There is a theory claiming that people will always remember that one mistake you made, rather than the 100 good things you did. You made it sound like I did you wrong, and I was a terrible friend to you. Well I supposed you may have forgotten the 100 good things I have done for you and our friendship, so let me refresh your memory. Remember who organized and planned your entire 21st birthday? Oh hey, it's me. I took the time to make your invitation cards and gathered all your friends together to surprise you, if you forgotten. Remember who accompanied you to the police station when you got cheated by a random boy online? Me. Remember who let you into her group of friends when nearly half of your secondary 3 classmates hated you? Me. Remember who took the time to sit there and watch you cry over a foreign old man you loved but he already had a girlfriend back in his home country? Me. Remember who had your best interest and told you to stop messing around with boys who were just playing? Me- Oh wait. In your books, that's not a good thing because a true friend would have supported you in everything including sneaking a boy home, but I didn't.

I suppose you were a great friend to me. After I told you to stop getting touchy with the boys you just met in club, you had to distort my words of concern, tell the entire world, and make them think that I was calling you easy. You pulled out your favourite victim card and within minutes, your friends were telling me to mind my own business because "it's not your life, why do you care so much". Maybe I cared because you were my friend. Are you going to tell the world your mother is not a supportive mother if she had told you to stop? Unfortunately, that thought didn't manage to cross your thick skull.

In 2012 - 2013, I've heard that back in 2010 you told your friend, J, whom you later on hated, that I'm not a good person before you introduced us to one another. I don't know why you did that. But because of your remark about me, J confessed that it made a negative impression on me. She ended up being close friends with our mutual friend F, whom she told about what you said, and in addition, she also thinks I'm a better person than you are, after she got to know me better. I've never said a word to you about this. I didn't want you to feel bad about something you did years back, it could have been a mistake, why would I trust J instead of you, my close friend? But it shouldn't come as a shock to me that something like that happened with you. We were very close friends who talked a lot. You literally talked shit about the girls you are now "best friends" with, so why was that a shocker. You put a heart in your Instagram caption for your photo with them while you tell me about how much they get on your nerves. Classy.

Oh, and how about that time when WL and I got drunk and all you did was throw us by the pavement and whine about how badly you want to go back in the club to party? Maybe to you, that is how a good friend should've acted. But in my books, a good friend would have understood that we were upset which was why we ended up getting drunk and a good friend would have taken care of us and made sure to get us home safely.

As you should know by now, I questioned our mutual friends to see if they knew your reason for hating me. Like I said, nobody knew exactly what happened, so they could only take guesses. Surprisingly, as if they were all telepathically connected, they all made the exact same guess. If this was a game in the casino, I'd win the jackpot. Everyone presumed that you hated me out of jealousy, and you are jealous of me. I was baffled, and for awhile I refused to acknowledge it as a valid guess, because despite you thinking that I am, I am in fact not a narcissist. Obviously, I had to ask why, hating a friend out of jealousy just seems so bizarre to me and I'm sure you are curious too.

"Your life is much more meaningful than hers" "You have a good relationship with your boyfriend" "You get so many free stuff as a Youtuber" "You're prettier" "She's unhappy with her own life, which is why she can't stand seeing you happy".

I chuckled. That's ridiculous, I told them. But the grass is always greener on the other side.

I thought about what they said, and now I am convinced. I have pretty good memory you know. Remember how you always end up disliking your best friends whenever they have a boyfriend? It happened to your best friend in secondary school, it happened to your best friend in polytechnic, it happened to me. Our friendship clearly went downhill the moment I got a boyfriend and the problem was not us prioritizing our boyfriends before you. The problem was you who simply cannot feel happy for us. Remember how you used to constantly text my boyfriend when he was chasing me? Remember how you got lesser likes on that dating app as compared to my friend X? "I'm not a Youtuber, or Blogger" was what you said, almost immediately. Hilarious, I'm not in the competition girl, and if you think being a Youtuber can get you more likes on a flipping dating app... Let me just say, no. Remember the time you posted a photo of the both of us on Instagram and your friends kept commenting about how pretty I looked? You'd think a good friend will agree that your friend looks great, but somehow you took it like a personal insult and had to even tweet out that you are insecure and it was insensitive of them to comment that.

Instagram comments... Yes. Remember all the Instagram comments you deleted just because you couldn't take a little joke? You take every single disagreement as a betrayal, every little joke as a personal attack, while you go around calling people stupid and idiotic. You think the world revolves around me? No, you expect it to revolve around you but weird enough, your world revolves around me. You hate me, but you couldn't stop keeping yourself updated with my life. You had to get something out of me to put me down. You blamed me for everything that doesn't go your way because it gives you a temporary high to know that you're not at fault for what your life had turned out to be, miserable. Remember the rooms allocation for our Malaysia trip? You flipped. "Why do you and G get to be in the same room?" was what you said, even though we were not the only couple who got to stay together, you had to push the blame on me. Little did you know that the boys were saying things like "that's the best allocation, don't have to ask her, just allocate!" in our own chat while I constantly tell them that we'd better ask you first. I was the only one who bothered replying you when you asked, because the rest of them were just going "LOL why her reaction so big?" in our separate chat. They were taken back by you overreacting, as usual, which was why they ended up agreeing with everything you wanted. And if you think we were doing things your way because we are afraid of you, think again. We merely gave the baby a pacifier to stop it from making any more noise.

You posted an old photo of us on my timeline wishing me a Happy Birthday on my 24th birthday (21st December 2016). That was how hypocritical you are. That was a lowly act of yours and you think I didn't know. Well, to be fair, I didn't. Because I replied, I was thankful, and I even told my sister that I was moved that you made the effort to dig out that photo and even posted it on my timeline. I told her that you were perhaps, missing the times when we were close too. Welp. You were obviously not because my friends started texting me asking about why would you use such a bad photo of me and your caption was simply "Happy birthday!". Even after I replied thanks, you didn't bother to say anything else. That is how pretentious you are. Of course, kept my mouth shut again because I don't feed on dramas.

I honestly thought you will grow out of it. But apparently there are people who regress in maturity and you're sadly, a perfect example. If you haven't heard by now, you have been muted in my timelines, literally everywhere on social media, for about 9 months now, which is why you haven't seen my name on your list of Instagram story viewers in so long (while you consistently appear in mine...). I didn't mute you because I hate you, I'm not you, and to be fair, you were not the only one who got muted. I muted you because I wasn't interested in your childish rants, shady, and meaningless updates. Basically, I wasn't interested in any of the dramas you directed anymore. At 25, I have better things to read. I don't have all the time in the world to linger around my timelines, reading every single post because I actually have better things to do than to stir up meaningless friendship dramas. Moreover, you love horror things and you know I'm not the biggest fan of that, the last thing I'd want is a poster of a ghost in the middle of my timeline.

If you think taking my friends away from me will make me upset, for once, you are right. I said I don't have time for friendship issues. Well, maybe I do have time. But I'd rather spend it on things and on people who are actually worth it. Thanks to you, I found out who my true friends are which turns out to be a blessing in disguise. Nobody is perfect, what more a "perfect friend". A true friend is one who understands you, one who puts you in the right path, one who knows your flaws but accepts them, regardless. It's clear that you're only binge hanging out with them to shove it in my face that they left me for you, which is pathetic for a 25 year old don't you think? At the end of the day, you might even go home, paranoid, thinking if they will betray you one day. Think about it, if I'm jealous of your friendship with them, I'd actually wish I'm you. But let's be real... We all know who we'd rather be.

Well, this open letter is not to trigger another wave of hate, but for you to know that I have moved on, and I sincerely hope you to do too. It's a lengthy letter, but I figured out that since this would be my last note to you, might as well make it worthwhile. Maybe I did some terrible things in the past that hurt you, but didn't you? Whatever major disputes we had happened when we were teens, when we were basically kids. I'm not afraid to admit that I've made some really stupid choices when I was a teen, but people grow up. I know you didn't, but people do actually grow up and they learn from their mistakes by making sure not to do it again, not hold on to it so you can throw a pity party in the future. We have known each other for nearly half of our lives and it's shocking for me to know that for all these years, you've been living in a bubble full of hate and despair. The grudges you held in your heart, the "past events that accumulated" hate has shadowed you throughout these years, it's time to let go, of me. Forgiving doesn't mean forgetting, forgiving is doing yourself a favour, because hate turns you into an ugly person, and it's exhausting isn't it? I'm not fishing for my well-deserved apology from you, but do yourself a favour. I may look as though I am living the life you want, that is, if you are truly jealous of me, but everyone has their own struggles. Just because some people aren't as vocal about their problems as you are, doesn't mean they don't have any. I've said what needed to be said, I genuinely wish you'll learn to love yourself one day. If you still find the need to keep up this drama, all I can say is, whichever path you choose to take in life, remember that you chose it and there's no one else to blame but yourself. Have a good day, even though I know I've already ruined your day, week maybe.